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Game day. LFG.

Shaheed, baby.

57 yards and there was no doubt about it. #whodat

in awe that someone got the bar to put the US Open final on

NO

they don't claim to be spelling experts

shot chaser

I think the guys with guns and a monopoly on the legitimate use of force should be able to take a little backtalk without flipping their lids

if this was true, you would perhaps not tweet "pet eating is false but couch fucking is also false" and leave the rest to the reader behind a facade of plausible deniability.

i'm glad he's not running but moderately concerned that he's literally still the president of the united states

can't believe Taylor Swift would risk alienating her most important demographic: angry middle-aged divorced white guys

asked a guy in his depo about cheating on his wife, he admits to spending $ on family amex at chinese restaurant so naturally my next question was "what did you order" just to keep him antsy and he said "appetizers/drinks" you bet i said "crab rangoon, things of that nature?"

it's horrible to give them a quota like this. some cops have to go into pet stores to hit their number.

i shudder to think what a committee came up with

I'll be there hanging out and Mike Drucker is on the show. Can you really miss this?

"It's December 7th, a solemn day where we mourn those lost in the attack at Pearl Harbor and the consequences that followed or, perhaps, a day to admire the cunning Japanese air assault and the devastating accuracy of their bombers."

for all we know the moderators did bring it up but They stopped us from hearing about it that's how good They are at censorship

panicking and yelling "IT WAS ON THE TEEVEE!" is the funniest possible outcome

macroplastics

yeah, i've been adding flax, chia, pepitas to my salads *son nods* i'm seedpilled *son picks up phone* i'm birdmaxing *son dials* i'm in my squirrel era *son says the word that initiates the Kevorkian Protocol, as we agreed*