Best pickup line: let me pay your tuition

College: where you skip class to study for that class

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monday’s are for the homework you could have done over the weekend but decided to procrastinate

LMFAO

I didn't choose the 4.0 life. The 4.0 life didn't choose me either

Anyone else remembers these?

why did nobody warn me about the part of adulthood that’s just looking back at your childhood and realizing how much Trauma you actually Endured

when i use the 😗 emoji it’s not a kiss it’s this:

No holdies No grabbies No ropies

LMFAO

Like this if you agree

My Ceiling Fan has three settings: -Very Slow -Slow -Im about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident

Drunk people are hilarious

life was fun but can you imagine giving a valentine to everyone in college?

I have a love/ hate relationship with you

Remember in school when u were sitting in class and contemplating on asking to go to the bathroom so u can kill some time during that class but some asshole raised his hand and beat u to it so now u have to wait at least 15 minutes after he came back to ask? Ya fuck those moments

"Use your own words, don't just copy from the text book" Book: "she was born in 1978" Me: "1978 is the year in which she was born"

When in doubt nap it out

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me short, I could pay for college, a semester abroad, a new car, and a mansion in cash.