Girlfriend isnt home (doesnt exist) means its an all protein, no carb dinner for Tyson tonight

The type of forehead that gets priests out of bed today #ashwednesday

God forbid someone hits a ground ball his way and he needs someone to throw it to

Ian Rapoport being 2 hours after a guy whose working an actual job rn is crazy

more like #expand

might cop #Lank

need to know why Kamala’s white sister in charge of giving out the big east coty award

about to bring that “run thru a mu fukkers face” mentality to the slopes #nepotism

Someones gotta be the guy to scroll twitter for 20 minutes in the library before doing work and it might as well be me #mysacrifice

This is what I call a “driveway beer” Pretty simple concept actually. All I do is drink a beer in the driveway

Pat Foley wouldnt have like the outcome of this game, but I know he would love Cannon’s stat line

ESPN showing me womens basketball scores is like me texting my ex at 2 am. Its getting scrolled right past without a second thought

Adding this word to the rotation

Most objectively unfunny tweet ive ever read 😐

How far out could Nick Dunlap start and win the masters? farthest part of every green?

Watching the Masters on streameast today simply for the love of the game

Cam ward? havent heard that name in a while :(

Jeff Ulbrich play call if Shedeur ever starts a game against the falcons

Can he canonize Dewayne Wise for this miracle?

Kolesar, Nurse, and Kane all in the box at the same time. What are the odds?