If you weren’t with us when we were mid, DON’T be with us when we’re hot garbage. 🗣️

Friends, I am very excited to announce that my new stand-up special has a title and a release date: "Two Wrongs" is coming to YouTube on Tuesday, July 15th at 7pm! Head on over to the watch page and hit "Notify Me" to tell YouTube you're interested: youtu.be/KHIW2isnseQ

Now the British military. Very highly touted. Well-trained infantry, world-class navy. So you go, these scrappy colonists are going to be wiped out. But then, historic upset by the US of A! Now you have to be careful here: fireworks can be very explosive. Happy 4th, Hubie Hive!

Most exciting sports moment I've seen in a very long time happened today. Shout out to Nico.

The F1 movie was basically a documentary predicting Nico Hulkenberg's immediate future.

My brain while Mr. Diniz was teaching algebra.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July 

Boomer moms love fruit in salads and cream cheeses that shouldn't have fruit

Raynaud is untouchable on the trade market.

I'm going to France on Tuesday. Where can I get a Raynaud jersey by Monday?

For a second I thought this was about Max Raynaud but then he said "not the greatest scorer" so I knew he was talking about Cooper Flagg.

Shout Out to that summer when everybody took pictures with their iPads.

Dynasty.

“You can always spot Americans in foreign countries” Yeah man you blend right in at Yellowstone with your child’s medium Armani Exchange shirt, skin tight capri length jorts, and Pumas

LITERALLY

Bail has been set at 3,500 tickets