interviewer: you have a 3 year gap on your resume that just says “vengeance” me: interviewer: me: you don’t remember me do you?

if you like wheat thins go fuck yourself #fuckwheatthins

ocean city is like marylands abortion that lived #roein5

pamplemousse flavored la croix tastes like carbonated butthole

if i was hanging out with someone and they pulled a google pixel pro out of their pocket i’d be scared for my fucking life

just got the opportunity of a lifetime

Just spoke to god, he'll DD. We can drink as much as we want

do not try to teach me a card game i will literally pass out

*magician sawing a woman in half* me, under my breath: leave her alone

Guy at the piss store just asked me if this was the poop store. Buddy look around you

(To guy who just sat down in the bathroom stall next to me) Welcome to the big leagues

#pelicansgameday Pels up 7 going into the fourth. Great game.

Please Cassandra Unchained explain to me how the top execs are dumping and meme stocks are crushing. We deserve a explanation besides sell and a clearly emotional flip of opinions. Your word means more than you know sometimes.

really jonesing for a gogurt right about now

Looks like Burry couldn’t handle the heat. Deactivated his twitter ?? Face the people. Would love one of your quarterly letters from Scion explaining your recent emotions. Elon Musk Maybe he should get a small ban? Equivalent to when you quit a video game. #short

All facts point towards a recession. Absolute ridiculous pump and dumps occurring before the big crash. WifeyAlpha has some great sources of information for all your investing needs. Let’s all be on the right side of history!

Just got my #pelicans tickets. So pumped. #pelicansgameday

#pelicansgameday This is so dope. Love SKC. #gopels

Pelicans fan with a very memorable three seconds of screen time during a timeout

Well said