My one true love! 🥰

I always expect the unexpected!

I'll get out of bed soon, honest!

Danni Menzies is 🔥.

Well, that was a shit day. I'm off to bed!

You know the rules. You follow me I follow you! #IFB 👍 ❤️

That one was full-bodied and full of flavour! 🌬️

I've got a big one in the works and no mistaking. Going to have to phone local shipping companies to warn them of a massive turd-burg floating down the Tyne! 💩

I've decided I'm taking me mom to the Toby carvery tonight! Can't wait! Luv ya mom! ❤️

Me moms gone to Wales to visit her sister. So that means I'm inviting all the sexy ladies to my place this weekend! Who's up for it? 🥳 🎉

Sexy lady!

It's nearly the weekend. Come on guys we've got this!

Are there any sexy ladies up for a shag this weekend? They don't call me tripod for nothing you know! 🍆

Is it too early to be thinking about food? 🍗 🍽️ 🤤

I've just found some scotch eggs at the back of the fridge that I forgot I'd brought. I am now happier then I reasonably should be. 😊

When life gives you lemons cut them in wedges and put them in vodka.🍋

I'm awake stupidly early and thinking about food. No wonder I'm a fat bastard!

Maybe head up to the Toby Carvery this evening and have a big ol' blowout.

That was a massive chicken nugget sesh. I'll be shittin' bricks tomorrow.

My mum just let the biggest fart go and I think the downstairs neighbours are laughing about it! 🤣🤣🤣