I feel like I’m forgettin’ somethin’ today.

So we’re close to the day that one dude got stabbed by his friends.

That’s not even funny. Why would you say that?

The guy we named salad after? He was stabbed in March by his friends.

No, no. I’m talkin’ about you being Crowley’s meat suit. That ain’t somethin’ to joke about, Brooke.

The Caesar salad? Wasn’t that dude stabbed, Brooke?

Do ya know how /traumatizing/ that was for me?

No, no. The short guy was the dude we named the ice cream after.

I mean, sure. You’re the one who brought it up. *Lifting his shoulders into a nonchalant shrug.* Just sayin’.

// I forgot which brackets I used on this account

See ya paid some attention. Speaking of pizza…

Love shots! [Claps his hands together in anticipation.] What’s the occasion?

You—want pizza?

— When the curtains call the time? Will we both go home alive? It wasn’t hard to realize; Love’s the death of peace of mind. x

You’re such a brat. [He huffs out whilst snatching the bottle from her hand and taking a swig before he begins to finish pouring the shots.] Ya truly think I forgot about ya, hey?

I might forget a lot of important shit. But I won’t ever forget my favorite tradition of making an angel on earth believe I’m selfish enough to forget her birthday.

Truly the gift that keeps on giving because I fall for it every damn year.

C’mon now. I may take until a second before twelve some years, but I ain’t ever too preoccupied for ya, Sweetcheeks. [Slides a shot glass towards her with an exaggerated roll of his eyes; holding up his own glass.] After this, bottle shots ‘cause I did have a lame plan.