Earthquakes I call Quakey-Quakey Shake Shake.

Can't wait to get down on Earth Worms (green beans), Lactose Linguini (mac & cheese), and Sweetie Mash Mash (candied yams) this T-Gives!

I call the royal baby Ja Ruler of Cambridge #royalbaby

#EATING

Frozen Yogurt is Fro Yo Ma.

Water? I call that hot ice.

Ice cream? That's milk on the rocks.

Guacamole I call Mexican mashed potatoes, Gucci Mane, or Guaca Guaca Flame.

I call pork... Notorious P.I.G. RT Michael Ian Black: Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. (RT, please)

Seltzer I call tickle water.

Soft Serve is Vanilla Ice.

I call chopsticks mini pool cues. Or big-ass toothpicks.

Espresso? I call that Sippy Sippy Wake Wake.

Raisins are old-ass grapes. Grapes? Those are teen raisins.

I call cocktail wieners Lil' Bow Wows.

Martinis I call Bond Water.

I like to call carrots—Frosty Nose.

I don't think Trader Joe's is on Twitter, but FYI Tom Haverford calls Trader Joe's Mango Lemonade - Nature's Hennessy.