Me hearing that crunch sound when I vacuum up some crumbs 😩🔥

I hate short people, get your short dumbass out my way

Uber driver: “Fun night?” Me:

LOL @ y’all assuming everyone that comes from 2 parent homes are good ppl.

If I book the hotel with the balcony I hope you understand the assignment.

don't do it

Deep down. You know exactly where you stand with someone. Hope blurs the lines a bit but, you know.

When you have the chance, destroy your enemies completely. Show them no mercy, and they’ll be less likely to try to cross you in the future.

Being a nerd is a very solid way to escape poverty. Like literally.

grabbing her by her eye lashes all summer. i said LETS GO tweety bird

Do u guys ever have a date turn into a bender or just me

at the age of 25 you have to get over everything

A man's worth is measured by his resilience in adversity.

Gratitude can part seas for you.

If you aren’t a visionary you are a bitch

iPhone 16 will be able to make phone calls