Small victory if you’re looking for one is that Sammy redeemed himself over the last 40.

This website is just fucking mint.

Tie game Pat! Stop staring at the ceiling and look at your tv for fuck sakes.

Best way to make your goalie look good is to play the entire game in the opponent’s end eh?

Hahahah holy shit the roof would have exploded.

Ok now he has to get one more tonight. Let’s go.

Nah these guys have checked out and I don’t entirely blame them. Let’s get on the road and get this shit started for real.

If we’re gonna half-ass these last few games, then sit the core guys and let’s fucking goon it up for our last 2 games. Start Reaves on the top line and tell him to just injure people. Lose both games 14-1 who cares.

Not now Marge. We got a fucking goalie problem on our hands. Read the room idiot.

Ok I stood up for Sammy last game because he’d been playing great for a while but my sympathy bucket is empty now. Goalies get 4 periods of rope from me. After that, fuck off, next.

Fuck it - make him the game 1 starter. Let’s embrace chaos.

Trying to pay attention to the Jays is about as enjoyable as having to attend a wake 162 nights in a row.

Sorry - can't help you.

Auston Matthews scores ton because he's accurate but also because he shoots the puck towards the opposing net using a hockey stick. If he, for example, steered the puck away from the opposing net using a push broom or perhaps a Swiffer mop, he'd most likely have far fewer goals.

I wish he would just pass more.

I was the leading lobbyist to have Sammy shipped off to the Pripyat
Exclusion League early this year but tonight didn’t bug me too much. He’s earned a mulligan. For now, I’m taking it as a on-off stinker.

Milk truck!