In the wake of a viral interview quoting him as loving RFK Jr., Seattle residents once again gathered at an official press conference this afternoon to remind the nation that Chris Pratt is from Lake Stevens, not Seattle.

Adam Smith Assures Voters He Remains Best Choice to Represent AIPAC and Boeing in Congress: tinyurl.com/248yn5h9

Voters said they left the town hall much more assured that Smith is also still the best choice to represent his major campaign donors Palantir, Microsoft and Lockheed Martin.

No lie from The Needling ! Adam Smith is AIPAC, Palantir, Lockheed, and the IDF in a big trenchcoat. Send working class fighter Kshama Sawant to Congress! She's running to end all military aid to Israel & for free healthcare funded by taxing the rich kshamasawant.org/donate/

JFC LOL

Gardener Convinced Green Tomatoes Just Fucking With Her Now: tinyurl.com/6ufp2fwh

Legit- I thought it was just me- wtf are they still green???

Seattle has it’s own Onion The Needling They fucking nailed this warmongering ZioPig ghoul Rep. Adam Smith

After patiently doting on her tomatoes all summer and waiting for them to turn red whenever they were ready, today Bellevue gardener Roberta Nielson announced she is completely sure her green tomatoes are just fucking with her now.

Mayor Harrell Hands Reporter Bag of Tim’s So Everyone Stops Calling Him the ‘Cuomo of Seattle’: tinyurl.com/4myuvwya

“I can’t take it anymore—I’d rather be anything else, even the Eric Adams of Seattle. Now take this bag of Tim’s and tell everyone I’d totally give Diddy a key to the city too."

New level of AI totally getting The Needling unlocked!