When I die, I want to be entombed in a coffin-sized Deep and Delicious cake.

Oasis reunion tour but it's just Liam and Noel roasting each other for two hours and absolutely no music.

Nobody is talking about how OJ Simpson actually went to jail for stealing back his own memorabilia in 2008. This is the 21st century version of the American Dream.

What's that? No I wasn't aware that Steve Albini produced this extremely obscure and niche band but boy am I impressed by your knowledge!

Do I have enough power and influence to make visors fashionable again?

Might become an Olympic athlete just so I can crush 10,000 calories in a day.

Instead of presidential debates, I wanna see Brandy and Monica reignite the age old argument about who The Boy rightfully belongs to.

Imagine seeing someone's feet and thinking "ya I'd like to fuck those"

"Who's gonna match my freak?" You mean who's gonna watch Netflix and order Uber eats for 16 consecutive nights with you? Ya I'm not sure.

Gonna tell my kids that Rick Rubin was Mahatma Gandhi.

If you say "movin' weight" into the mirror 3 times, Pusha T will appear.

Vancouver's Best Kept Secret: the 2024 Grey Cup.

Drove past one of the Postal Workers picket lines and there was a guy tuning an acoustic guitar. To say the situation is dire would be an understatement.

Find comfort in the fact that Elvis impersonators will be nearly extinct in 25 years.

Of all the parenting fails in the Home Alone series, letting Fuller guzzle litres of pop is perhaps the most egregious.

The question is, will Trudeau be releasing his Spotify playlist at the end of every year now, for some reason?

Obviously you shouldn't drink when you're pregnant but what about when you're in labour? The baby is fully assembled by that point, right?

Was there ever a point in time when I could eat a meal and not have to take a 6 month nap afterwards?

I wanna take a Depression-era person into a Dank Mart and show them that it gets better but also, so much worse.

Has anyone thought of just pushing all of Canada to one side?