me and the character that I think I am

I think the Traitors really missed an opportunity to call the bachelor's team of faithfuls the "Peterphiles"

Would like to be the first to offer to go down on the entire casting team of #Traitors season 3. Doing great work there folks

Bf: What do you think this is in this tomato? Me: NOT THE BOAR WORMSSSSSS 🪱🪱🪱

The Anonymous is a great show except for the fact that I have to explain to my bf how someone becomes The Anonymous no less than 3x an episode.

I think they should reboot Kazaam with me as the lead

When is a car company gonna finally use their brains and put Ruben Rabasa in one of their commercials?

"That's why you're so nice! You're not from this country." Mamadou, my cab driver.

Found out today that the only three Arabic words my bf has learned from me in ten years are hurry up, slow down, and coffee.

Thinking about how the diner next door doesn't serve food 24/7 anymore: We used to be a country.

Invasion of the Body Snarchers (1956) is such a good movie but a little too on-the-nose for me to play in the background while I read my morning abortion news roundup

I'm in my WhatsApp roses and Skechers era DO NOT PLAY WITH ME

Election night 2024 feels like Philly after a major sporting event - whatever the result, people will be setting fires and eating horse shit.

'Oh, drat,' said Toad.

A rite of passage: played "that's you" with my ten-year-old brother for the first time

We need an angry crying emoji like YESTERDAY

How fucking dare my favorite radio station play "What's Going On" right before my first zoom call 😭😭😭😭 kexp you owe me

If anyone wants to know how it's going, my coworker and I just ended a meeting with, "Let's go eat potatoes."

Happy Mardi Gramadan