For all of you who enjoy your day off today: tomorrow will be your Monday while I’m already in the grove 😏😝

Dick is there any chance you can come 🤣☠️

Ok guys
Don’t let me down.
Let’s hear yours 😏🤣🤣

Someone wants to go to work for me so I can get naked and snuggle back into bed?

Gen X Facts:

How often do I have to tell my kid to go easy on the deodorant and perfume before it’ll sink in? Not sure my nose can take it much longer

Isn't it amazing that in this crazy tech driven world we've created for ourselves, people are more lonely than ever🥴🥴🥴

Monday hits different after a week off. 😳☕️

Did anyone watch Murderville on Netflix?

Words hit harder and are felt deeper when passion is driving them.

When he passed, this tree became his tree. Neighbors planted flowers, kids lay painted stones in memory of the most wonderful soul. Every year the flowers grow back and make me smile when I look out my kitchen window.
Kindness has so many different faces 💜

Can’t, my butt has to reconnect with the couch. They missed each other

I have a very stiff sock

If you give me the freedom to control your orgasms, the only promise I’ll make is I won’t let you die.

That one day I can sleep in … 🙄

AhhhhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhhMmmmmmmmmZzzzzzzzgoodnightyallzzzzzzzzz

Your nudes are the bee’s knees.

I want to do this so badly. Who’s in?

I’m going to coffee like I’ve never coffee’d before!!

My stresses are melting away faster than my magnum today

My hangover face needs eye patches…just two more hours and I’m home 🚂