I got a South Park song stuck in my head and now I have to explain to my wife why I’m muttering “shut your fucking face uncle fucker” under my breath.

That moment when you hit the level in the Pringles can that makes you say “fuck it, we’re shooting the moon.”

My @followthewire internet is down for the 4th time since May, and here I sit waiting for dispatch to maybe call me to set up a tech appt. for maybe tomorrow morning. So glad I pay for a high tier that has a data cap and usually runs about 1/3 of advertised speed #ArmstrongSucks

Comcast > Armstrong Cable, and I don’t say that to compliment Comcast. I’d switch back tomorrow if I could and pay a higher price for service that works more reliably and at the speeds I’m paying for. #ArmstrongSucks

Y’all can boycott based on politics all you want, I’ll stay away from companies if their TV commercials are loud and obnoxious. Looking at you, Subway®. That “flatlining burger” commercial drove me straight to a local competitor yesterday.

Currently feeding my baby a bottle we froze when he was four days old and now he’s four months old and I’m not crying you’re crying shut up.

Note to self: doing a Scott Ferrall “shakeituuuuuuuup” impression from the radio while shaking the milk bottle is not a good way to calm down a crying baby.

Superman. Fuckin’ A right.

I couldn’t give less of a shit who wins Chiefs-Patriots and I’m still stress eating about it.

It’s just like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme, except instead of getting an airplane spin and a psychedelic taxi ride to a rich uncle’s house, it’s a potentially life threatening gunshot wound and a financially crippling hospital bill. 6abc.com/police-at-leas…

Waylon Jennings is a genius, a legend, and an icon, and deservedly so, but it is absolutely appalling how many times he recorded “MacArthur Park” trying to make it a country hit.

Interesting—just finished a case of Sierra Nevada Brut IPA I’ve been working through since mid-spring. The longer they sit, the less “brut” and more “IPA” they become. Not a bad thing at all, but the difference between one I had in June and the one I’m having now is remarkable.

Today I got to cross “go into a bank with a bandanna mask and empty out a vault” off my bucket list. If you count a safe deposit box as a vault. Which I do.

I'm at Fox Pizza in Emporium, PA swarmapp.com/c/8ZASJ7dK8yO

I'm at Snappy's in PA swarmapp.com/c/lV5TTDNSCHy

The most horrifying words I can hear coming out of a radio in a public space: “Here’s another 6 Christmas songs in a row!”

What better way to break the “bye week” hockey fast than with a #RangersRagequit blowout? #facepalm

Since my wife is pregnant, I’m required to say that #OpeningDay is the day I’ve been looking forward to second-most this year.

2018 starts NOW.

Hats off to MLB.TV this year, they’ve improved their frame rate to the point that it’s as good or better as any broadcast or cable channel.