With the great Rob Gronkowski retiring from the Patriots, He should team up with Ryan Reynolds in #XForce. He's a hell of a team player and one #StrongGuy

It feels like you can solve a lot of issues by simply having the IRS audit every politician as they leave office. #exitinterview

I don't like fights. They hurt.

Well there you have it. Yet another day has passed without me playing my recorder.

I think I might have body dysmorphia, every time I look at myself in the mirror I only see that talking wheel of cheese from the Cheez-IT commercials

No! For the last time Pickles are not just "Sour Grapes".

A Furby will cry if you light it on fire.

I carry with me the WiFi memories of everywhere I've been in life. #blessed

Clarence Oddbody "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other Wi-Fi's. When it isn't around it leaves an awful hole, doesn't it?"

gesundheit!

I'm not much for conspiracy but I am starting to see coded messages in the random password generator to log into my works WiFi.

Moderator: Joe on your first day in office what would you do 1st. Joe: first things first I would make sure everything is where I left it. #DemocraticDebate #LetYangSpeak

I am more impressed by Parrots then ventriloquists.

It takes more courage to stand alone then to blindly follow. I respect what Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 did and I hope she continues to show her fellow Democrats what leadership looks like.

Due to the COVID-19 Pandemics catastrophic impact on Saint Patrick's day, the Irish American coalition is seeking a bailout of 40 Guinness Extra Stout kegs and a box set of all 15 Dropkick Murphys albums.

Who turned up the gravity? The world feels heavy...

Actual news: Live youtube.com/watch?v=aGG_DM…

Life is funny sometimes you fall down a wishing well and all you find is a fist full of pennies.

Can we update the term "Hoover camps" To "Trump camps" as a common nickname for makeshift shantytowns built by homeless people to criticize Trump for not doing enough to alleviate the widespread unemployment and poverty or so he will at least make them "The Best Shanty ever!"