Have had two too many police encounters for one bachelorette weekend 😂

Hiring a magician/mentalist to perform bachelorette was absolutely the move 🪄

It’s CFP Friday! (Come Fill out this Paperwork) Friday! We’d love to have you speak at BSidesDFW this year!

Ordered instacart for the first time in forever because I’m not feeling great, and my shopper is a man. RIP my vegetable choices 😭

I cannot take myself seriously making a wedding playlist. Someone stop me before I walk down the aisle to a song from SpongeBob. I am getting married at an aquarium though…..

every time i text the group chat

the US if Tylenol actually caused autism

Fr though pears are so good where is the pear flavored stuff???

this is how I picture myself when I'm liking y'all's posts

i'm about to make ten million dollars

Google has determined that ICE agents are a vulnerable group and has used this designation as pretext to delete an app that helped communities determine where ICE raids were happening 404media.co/google-calls-i…

Renting from Airbnb is like microdosing a slum lord.

Enjoying rehearsal dinner noms with this gorgeous person Jun34u 💕

Married my soul mate over the weekend, officially a Mrs. 💕✨ Octavian

lmao proxy server go brrrr