#Dorisfuckingdoneit

Is it just me, or is it a bit fucking hot?

I'm watching mad max...this is probably about the 30th time I've watched it (at least)....I hope it ends well

Don't forget, I'm always fucking watching...makes you wonder why people love me so much, it's really creepy

Oh yeah....go to fucking church...give me money

I'm definitely fucking watching that

Lions don't wear masks....said no one ever....oh no, hang on, a fucking dick said it once...he was a complete twat tho

It's Monday night and I'm properly pissed #WWJD ? get pissed on a Monday

I'm Jesus, I love any kind of tart...

Only if the fucker is born tomorrow

Big Zuu's big eats is the strangest fucking show I've seen in ages, it's not a proper cooking show, it's definitely not a fucking comedy show, but it's weirdly watchable shit... #Dave

Thank you for your prayers Your prayer is in a queue Your prayers are important to us Prayers may be recorded for training purposes You are number 23,417,825 #swearyfuckinjesusautomatedprayerservice

youtu.be/kX9hRcD8QjA A nice little tune for ya

Boris says the fuel crisis is over...cos we all believe everything that proven fucking liar says...

I'm not dead, I'm just stuck in a queue at a fucking petrol station

Don't fucking blame me!

It's my birthday soon....just reminding you I'm still here, watching everything you do, like a creepy fucking uncle

I'm a fucking minefield of information

Don't read this...it's a fucking lie You can donate to Jesus here: [email protected]

Maybe if he hadn't eaten so many meat loaves....