Went to the dentist. Got nasty things done by the nasty lady. Came home. Had gin. Watched rom com. Felt mushy. Did a cry.

Conversation at work about icks. Turns out some people 'don't have any' or they're just pretending to be nice people. I am not pretending to be a nice person. I have LOADS.

Look, I can have whatever icks I want. Don't need DMs from salty men crying because they qualify. I'm sure some women love men who ride on scooters with their little bags wearing white pants, wind flowing through their long locks. I'm just not one.

The gal Adding "Men who DM you to complain about your icks" to the icks?

Triggered man who doesn't like me having icks just called me a 'fat temu Meghan Markle'. Best day of my life. What a time to be alive.

Happy Friday peoples. Let's all stay at home because outside is fucking horrible.

Watching my garden furniture dancing round the garden smashing into fence panels and hoping to god the trampoline doesn't take flight into next doors conservatory roof.

FENCE PANEL CASUALTIES.

I really like porridge but do I have the patience required to make it? Do I fuck.

Made a brew about 8am, put it down somewhere. Couldn't find it anywhere. Tiny house. Just found it. 5 hours later. Going senile.

Last day on earth as a 36 year old. Mum's done me a meal she's defrosted from the freezer and I've brought me own cake and candles. Dont tell us we don't know how to celebrate.

I was born at 5am and every birthday I seem to naturally wake up at that exact time. I have a little cry, slap my own arse and drink some milk. The last bit was a lie. The first bits not though.

Hello 37.

Thanks all for the birthday love. I'll be upside down by 4pm. ❤️🥂

No one ever sits next to me on the train and I always wonder why. It's like teams at school when you're the last one picked. That never happened to me though. I was good at sports.

Quite frankly I'm a 'fuck it, put your tree up in November' type person. And quite frankly I dont give a fuck if you agree or not.

My little happy corner of the world.