Worked out why my hands get cramp every time I get a lift through an underground passage. It's car pool tunnel syndrome.

Best Artificial Intelligence Celebrity?

ENTER NEW PASSWORD:

Weightliftingworldchampionship2ndplace!

PASSWORD ISN’T STRONG ENOUGH

#LunchPun

There’s a car park at my local church. It’s a pray and display. #LunchPun

I announced myself as King, and walked into the procession. Sorry to reign on your parade. #LunchPun

Just looking for the case of fire…

People with gluten allergies… If you can’t stand the wheat, get out of the kitchen. #LunchPun

Would you look after my horse while I work out how to measure a racecourse? It won’t be furlong. #LunchPun

Listened too loudly to a Herge audiobook, and now I've developed TinTinitis.

Nike have promised that if I juggle some Air-Jordan's, I can become their next CEO. That's Shoebiz!

Wanted to use the lift today, so I stole some large suitcases.

Would you look after my horse while I work out how to measure a racecourse? It won’t be furlong. #LunchPun

Didn't wear a hard hat when I went to fetch coal. I'm off the Miner Injuries Unit now…

Why was Barbie’s boyfriend arrested at the Fast Food restaurant? Ken took a fried chicken. #LunchPun

Wasn't allowed to give ice cream to the people who start races by firing a gun. Apparently it's not for starters.

Nohtyp ytnom morf yug ecin. Nice guy from Monty Python.
Is this a Palin-drome? #LunchPun

My bedsheets are made up of triangle and rhombus patterns, and I lie on a rhombicosidodecahedron mattress. That’s how I can get into shape when I go to bed! #LunchPun

All my friends hate the paintings of L.S Lowry, but I love it. I guess it's all about perspective.

I prefer the Welsh version of Pokemon Go, where you have to give them a cuddle. 'Gotta cwtch them all'

When I spilled the hot drink down my front, I invented the tea-shirt. #LunchPun