Never been happier to finish fifth

Happy birthday to one of the most beautiful movies ever made

Al Pacino presented that like he had just been woken up in the middle of the night at gunpoint #Oscars

*gutted* for Lily Gladsone here. A real bummer. #Oscars

Really enjoying being able to watch the #Oscars at a sensible time on a terrestrial channel. Very much not enjoying ITV occasionally cutting to the worst people alive.

The Oscars' generosity conceals something dirtier and meaner

Not really sure what can be said about Akira Toriyama that couldn't be better expressed by the memory of every kid in my school rushing home to catch Dragon Ball Z so they could talk about it in the playground the next day.

1. Tottenham Hotspur
2. Liverpool
3. FC Tokyo
4. Brentford

So I’m basically Sergio Reguilón

Once interviewed Rebecca Ferguson and she asked 'is that supposed to impress me' when she spotted me reading a book beforehand. Have loved her ever since.

Me: should I have children? Would I be a good father?

The Tamagotchi I got last week receiving CPR: