Yes, we have suspended the officer who politely ran over an unarmed man with a car, because you people can't leave us alone for 5 minutes and let us do our jobs. Yes, he will continue to be paid his full salary, as we have given up on public relations at this point.

We are aware that an angry mob is forming outside of the Florissant Police Department. Please be quieter! You are too noisy. #StLouis #florissantprotest

We have exciting news to share! Congrats to all and their families. We have challenged the Los Angeles Police Dept. (LAPD) to dethrone us in 2021! #florissantprotest #stl #stlouis

Great news - we are currently in the process of securing a separate mounted Tesla Cybertruck to patrol every street in Ferguson. Sources from the capitol say this money will come directly from the 2021 budget of the local school district. #stlouis #stl #florissantprotest

If you do not stop protesting outside of the Florissant police station, we will not hesitate to commit a human rights violation and/or a war crime. #STL #StLouis

Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves. We do NOT stand by this decision.

In solidarity with the #blacklivesmatter movement, all of our officers who have joint membership in the local Ku Klux Klan chapter will not be eligible to enter next week's FitBit raffle.