86% of the time you are awakened from a deep sleep, it is because a Sasquatch is watching you. #FindingBigfoot

The preferred writing instrument of Sasquatches are the large recyclable pencils seen in many kindergarten classrooms. #FindingBigfoot

Sasquatches love the movie "Predator". #FindingBigfoot

Sasquatches do agree that Michael Crabtree is "just mediocre". #RichardSherman #FindingBigfoot

The "Hokey Pokey" is loosely based on an ancient Sasquatch burial ritual. #FindingBigfoot

Scientists believe Sasquatches should be treated as "people" with their rights. Unlike many animals, they are self-aware. #FindingBigfoot

Underneath their thick pelts Sasquatches almost always wear cut-off jean shorts. #FindingBigfoot #nevernudes

Sasquatches are generally solitary hunters, but one would never turn down the opportunity to enjoy a large picnic. #FindingBigfoot

Sasquatches do not get appendicitis, because they have no appendix. #FindingBigfoot

The average Sasquatch penis is 14 inches long. #FindingBigfoot

#AltonBrownLive Did you know that the Sasquatch's favorite entree is Duck Confit?

Chiropractors are not recognized as medical professionals in the Sasquatch community, but psychiatrists are. #FindingBigfoot

Louisiana Sasquatches are known to raid gator nests for eggs to use in egg salad. #FindingBigfoot

Surprisingly, the number of Colorado Sasquatch sightings has increased by exactly 420% since the legalization of marijuana. #FindingBigfoot

Often feared in nature, the honey badger was actually domesticated by the N'ktun Sasquatch colony in 1407 BC.#FindingBigfoot

Sasquatches consider Emoji racist, and have boycotted it, since there are no Sasquatch characters. #FindingBigfoot

Recent reports indicate a small pack of Burmese Sasquatches were responsible for crippling North Korea's Internet. #FindingBigfoot

Held on odd years, the highlight of the Sasquatch Olympic Games is a potato sack race across the Bering Land Bridge. #FindingBigfoot

Coming out of hibernation for a huge event: espn.com/nhl/story/_/id… You all know what to do! #FindingBigfoot