They say "the bigger they are, the harder they fall." What they should also say is "the smaller they are, the easier it is to get away with things without getting caught, okay."

There's never a good time to ask somebody for money, okay. It's always gonna be awkward, so just rip of the bandage and do it! By the way, could I borrow $50?

People love to ask me if there's a special someone in my life. I'm finally ready to tell you: there is... It's me, okay!

I'm so ready for summer. I'm sick of the weather going back and forth between cold and warm – I'm ready for it to be hot all the time! Just like me, okay.

They say you should put your best foot forward... this is not good advice, okay. Put someone else's best foot forward first to check for traps, THEN put your best foot forward!

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder –– which is why I'm selling new PrawnGlasses! They're sunglasses with my picture printed on the lenses. Now you can behold beauty everywhere you go, okay!

I want all my followers to know that if you have a pool and you need someone to watch it while you're out of towns this summer... Call Pepé. I promise to take good care of it and throw no more than 14 parties, okay.

Everybody's trying to get tans for the summer, but not prawns! We don't tan – we boil, okay!

Need some summer style inspirations? You got it, okay! Any of these looks are guaranteed to make you the best looking one wherever you are this summer – unless you're at the same place Pepé is, okay.

Is there anywhere better to be in summer times than relaxing in a floatie in the pool? You can sit back, relax, and literally let the fun times wash over you, okay.

Some peoples think it's impossible to look good while working out. They just don't know Pepé's method, okay. The secret? Get a selfie on a treadmill without turning it on... and then leave! It's that easy.

The best time to ask your boss for a raise is when you're in the elevator together. Just make sure it's going up and NOT down, okay. 📈

Everybody needs a friend like Pepé! I'm very supportive of hopes and dreams, I always tell you your outfit looks good, and when you have extra monies, you can just give them to me, okay!

Si, it's a bummer that the weekend is almost over, but remember: You won't get the #SundayScaries if you don't go to work on Monday! Tell your boss Pepé said it was fine, okay.

I like to rent tuxedos even when I'm not going to a fancy event, okay. Trust Pepé: If somebody sees you walking down the street in a tuxedo, they're gonna notice you!

Some peoples say variety is the spice of life... these peoples have clearly never met Pepé, okay.

Every day is an opportunity to become better, okay. Personally, I take the opportunity to become better at avoiding doing any work at all. Really works for me.

#PrawnProTips – If you show up on time, you're too early. If you show up early, you're crazy. If you show up after all the food is gone... you're late, okay.

Does anybody wanna invite Pepé to their Big Game parties this weekend? I promise to only talk during the football parts and shush everybody who tries to talk during the commercials or halftime show, okay.

Every Sunday, I spend time in front of a mirror taking notes about how good I look. It's great for my self-esteem and will be really useful when I write my new book "How To Be Hot and Spicy in 30 Minutes or Less," okay.