iso one kayzo t*cket for reelworms tonight plz

everyone say happy birthday to my niece or else 🔫

i know i didn't get selected to go into the cage but just watch me 👹👹👹👹

my little guy doing big things🥹🥹🥹

not me asking my friend to get a video of us taking a shot and this is what he got 🫩🫩🫩

everyone BETTER say happy birthday to Marley

A lot for a lil guy

hey sooooo never let me outside again plz thank you

no sunday scaries because i know everyone is blessed to have me around while im drunk

waking up finding out all the dumb shit you did the night before but at least you didn't throw up

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DOUG. GROW UP BRO, GROW UP.

this is what it feels like having to go back to work after a fun weekend

10/10 no notes

damn, the McRib has come back more times than my father did that's crazy

getting my birthday lift in on this lovely tuesday 🏋🏻‍♀️🥰🎉

i need Cutwater to make me an advent calendar plz n ty

$75 planet fitness charge should definitely put you on some type of national registry 😭😭