Is there some secret coalition of hot women on the internet who just feel like they’re entitled to your wallet? Because ick

Me: *deep breath and sigh* My friend: what’s wrong? Me: nothing I just forgot to breathe there for a second

YO FUCK THE MAVS AND FUCK DALLAS

Last night at the pool hall… Guy on the table next to me slaps a $20 on the table and goads his friend into betting with him Me: “hey man the sign says no gambling” Guy: “well why not?” Me:…….”listen buddy I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you”

I was serious I need all the hugs morherfuckers 🔫

Two stepping is just white peoples’ version of garba lmfaoooo

IF I WERE A FISH AND U CAUGHT ME YOUD SAY LOOK AT THAT FISH

Corporate America is a wolf in liberal’s clothing

If you don’t masturbate you should legally be disallowed from holding public office. Can’t be voting bills into law if you’ve never had post nut clarity

Some kid at the lakers game just bricked like 6 three pointers in a row on a thirty second timer. At his age that sounds fucking terrifying