Dua Lipa, while very beautiful, does not know as much about Frasier as me

UNLV interim HC Del Alexander was FEELING IT after the Rebels won their first bowl game in 24 years 😎

Team Mass here straight to the College Football Playoff Notre Dame is the coolest

Would get my knee replaced again to be on that field tonight Notre Dame Football

Notre Dame

Jaden Greathouse two defenders on their tush in one play you are a hero

Notre Dame

Oranges are literally pre-sliced and you don't believe in God

My brother made his tournament picks based on which coach dresses better. He’s calling it the Dapper Bracket…This is March.

do human beings know what's going to happen to them

April Fools’ Day betrays the spontaneity and unexpectedness imperative to the spirit of Foolery. By limiting jokes to a specific day of the year, you deprive them of their very essence. A true April Fool would strike on April 2, April 28, or even October 10.

if i could read minds, i would use it to say your jokes faster and louder than u

They should invent a city with parking

Hey which one of you wise guys left the Fake Item Box on the highway? Mile marker 41 on I-75? Very funny… I got like 15 feet of air. That guy on a cloud had to come get me. My wife exploded.

Just ran a 6:00 mile in a suit and tie and backpack in the Charlotte airport trying to make a connection. People cheered for me as I went. “Hey!” and “Slow down, moron!” they shouted. Doors were closed, but I still feel like a winner. You cannot break my spirit americanair.

“Hey, you got any gum?” ”No. ” ”I can tell.”

Historians are hilarious. Buncha dudes acting like they were there

I am a prolific improvisational jazz musician. Trouble is I can’t play any instruments. Thus I am condemned to scat.

I’ve just seen a grown up at the John Wayne airport with his shirt on backwards