Me: *spends 4 hours comparing gift prices on several sites to save $4* Also Me: *spends $33 on pizza because I shopped too long to cook $6 chicken*

Christmas prep is like college finals week: late nights, massive carb consumption, & the panic of knowing I should have started much sooner.

Don’t get caught up in today being a new year; it’s a new DAY. Win the day. If you fall short, tomorrow is a new day, too.

Jan 1, 12:01am: "My 2025 resolution is to be more patient with my kids, & to yell less." Jan 1, 2025, 7am:

Minecraft: Kids playing for hours assembling intricate little block villages and defending it from forces of destruction. Back in my day, we called this game LEGOS.

I’m officially starting the new year tomorrow, because obviously a new year should start on a Monday. We tried beginning a new year mid-week…. DO OVER.

They say love is dead, but by buying my husband the 99 cent box of Valentine candy hearts instead of the $5 card, I can buy myself TWO tacos with the money saved. And I LOVE tacos.

As a genxer, how many times have you started to respond to a post and in the middle realize that you just don't care enough to finish responding

Me, all winter: Everything is total trash and I want to die. Me, 56 degrees and sunny: Oh. Never mind.

Yeah… I originally selected the “precedented times” life package, so I’d like a refund, please.

If Sunday nights are the worst time to contemplate one’s life choices, then Friday nights are the best time to blissfully ignore those same choices.

Oh, dear child, I greatly admire your tenacity, your attention to detail & your organized argumentative logic... But that IS your pee left on the toilet seat. And we both know it.

90s song came on the radio & made me feel young again. Then I strained my neck reaching to turn up the volume & remembered: nope, I’m definitely not young.

I need audio inspiration. What song is THE ONE that you’ve obsessed over any time of your life (Go back as far as you want, go big or go home! Drop the name of a song that just does it for you like none other; I’m genuinely curious what songs you guys love.

“Being human can be so dispiriting. It is a real stretch for me a lot of the time.” ~ANNE LAMOTT