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“All these years, I should have been working on my act but I was too busy selling out. Now I'm just a tired old hack.”

“‘To start press any key’. Where's the ‘any’ key?”

“Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”

“And here we have Duff, Duff Lite, and our newest flavor; Duff Dry.”

“Yes, I hate it when things get worn out. Mmm... Socks... Welcomes...”

“Spare me your euphemisms. It's fat camp for daddy's chubby little secret.”

“Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.” “Homer Simpson, smiling politely.”

“And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.”

“What I wouldn't give to hear Lisa play another one of her jazzy tunes. Saxamaphone. Saxamaphone.”

“Bake him away, toys.”

“Nice PJs, Simpson. Did your mommy buy them for you?” “Of course she did, who else would have?”

“Wow, I wish I had an elephant.” “You did, his name was Stampy. You loved him.” “Oh yeah.”

“It's all gone. Everything... gone-diddily-on.”

“Sex cauldron? I thought they closed that place down.”

“I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-a to chimpanzee.”