Endless strains of weed at dispensaries. Endless flavors of alcohol at liquor stores. Free fentanyl needles and crack pipes. Do drugs anywhere you want. Gas leaf blowers are illegal. Plastic grocery bags are illegal. Flavored tobacco is illegal. This is California.

Can someone explain how brushing your finger against a 40lb stone in motion can affect is trajectory? Rules are rules but how is this a scandal?

If there was ever a doubt where Alysa Liu is from...

Marshawn Lynch but a girl on skates

I hate how articles now are like: “Nubuo Uematsu, 66, husband to Reiko Uematsu, renowned composer of the Final Fantasy series, beloved by millions, found… fine. He’s ok he’s having a sandwich.”

“Do you know what that would do to my fantasy team?!”

Not that long ago this was a standard Democrat position on immigration. If we want to win, treat people seeking a better life fairly, and protect our country, it should be again.

Does Men’s and Women’s Hockey winning gold mean Canada is the 51st now?

Right now, republican operatives are saying: “Wow, we didn’t have to pay actors to do this? They’re just eating each other on their own? Cool, cool…”

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Mac Jones is going to win a Superbowl with whoever he goes to after the Vikings.

This shit is why Trump even has a second term btw

Every January or February I squint at the screen and think “Hell yeah, the State of the Onion is strong.”

Please leave my party. Please. Please please please please please.

Incoming humanitarians against the strikes on Iran who never said a word in support of the 30,000+ slaughtered by the IRGC…

The Ayatollah in Iran, probably the worst human on the planet was eliminated today. There's now a real chance for Iran to be free of a punishing theocracy. Yet 3 of 4 candidates for Congress in San Francisco are opposed. They side with the Socialists. Marie Hurabiell for Congress

Let parents parent.

Over a million Jews in New York City turn to Gracie Mansion and see someone who liked the largest Pogrom against Jews since the Holocaust. Zohran Mamdani's wife saw the images of Jewish babies being burned alive in their homes, grandmothers being kidnapped, and women dragged on

Why tf are you calling out Weird Al? He actually taught me how to Eat It.

Of course he throws like that