My local Sears Canada looks a little different today…

Sears Canada employees will temporarily transition to Spirit Halloween employees for 3 months.

Our Manager Greg is not dead.

But when this happened to us no one cared.

Our Manager Greg was an FBI informant. He was not complicit in stealing the pensions of old Sears Canada employees.

Several of our Sears Canada locations required you to be buzzed in loser.

Our Manager Greg bought an ICE Halloween costume & a ski mask. He regularly pulls over cars and robs them now. Best part is no one knows he’s not from ICE & now he has a flat screen TV.

Now available at Sears Canada (a subsidiary of Sears USA).

This could’ve been $20. Our Manager Greg has some comments: 1) You bought name brand sponges? 2) You got free range eggs but you’re on a budget? 3) You got grass fed organic milk but you’re on a budget? 4) You got baked in store fresh bread but you’re on a budget? Baiting…

If this tweet gets 1,000 likes our Manager Greg said he will try to bring Sears Canada back.

Time to send in the national guard to Utah.

Please stop liking this tweet.

Lest we forget the victims of 9/11.