*watches 3 Jackie Chan movies and 1 Sammo Hung movie over like three days* As an expert on Chinese cinema...

This morning I was certain that knock on the door was a terrible physical manifestation of everything for which I’ve ever felt guilt. Turns out it was just my beard trimmer lol.

I consider all of my thoughts to be intrusive. I wish to not have thoughts.

If the tea you sipped brought you to this, of what use was the tea, sis?

Enjoying my ramen “California Style” tonight (adding french fries)

Midnight Run is the exact tone I’m talking about every time I insist that Inception should have been a 115 minute action-comedy.

[Fountains of Wayne voice] Cruella’s mom was murdered by some dogs

One of my only good dreams I can easily remember involved me winning an award for writing a Raymond Carver parody called “What I’m Drunk On”

Dinner date who’s only had dinner with Andre before: getting a lot of My Dinner with Andre vibes from this

Movies about cons, scams, grifts, flimflams, etc

The worldwide web is a great resource for movie trivia.

In the beginning, sometimes I left messages in the street.

What the fuck are we doing man. Feeling very “John Brown’s last words” about this city lately.

For no reason at all, I am serenely recalling summer 2015, when I could get two excellent banh mi for $8 from Le’s and eat them by Omand’s Creek.