"Aye. Silent waters."

"... The hell you sayin', lad."

"I'm gonna look at'cha. Y'still yappin'."

"Aye. Thank the floatin' fucker in the sky it's Fri-dee."

"... OI. Laddie. You trynna steal m'look?" @TheMadMaelstrom

"Yer all just pun lovin' shits. The lotta ye."

"AYE, WHATCHA SAYIN' LAD? I'LL RIP YER COCK OFF AND BASH YE AROUND THE JAW WIT' IT."

"Nessie update; I just ate five deep fried Mars Bars."

"Another Nessie update. Loch's so cold, I think m'tits are gonna drop off."

"Who th'fuck eats fuckin' corn? Eat some real food, like haggis!" "... Or live sheep." "Ye won't be a wee lad or lass for long!"

"Writin' shit is for nerds!"

Headbutts through a book, or something.

"I NEED TO FUCKIN' ASSASSINATE SOMETHIN' BEFORE I GET BORED OUT M'FUCKIN' MIND, LAD."

"Food be borin'!" x.com/SumerianSerpen…

RISES TO THE SOUND OF BAGPIPES.

"Is that a giant snake a' storms? I'm gonna fight it."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ. It be dead as anythin' 'ere."