Shout out to my fellow girls ✌️🐩

Men will literally go to therapy rather than play Tekken 7 with me.

I would be so bummed if my dad was a famous Tik Tok personality, and his nickname for me was “Liver kid”

Real heads know, we don’t call them Alvin and the Chipmunks. We call them “The Chips”. Not “the Munks” either. The real heads know what I’m saying

Sketchy guy who moved to Eugene Oregon to start over anonymously with his new girlfriend who hasn’t found out about his sketchy past yet

Goodbye Horses playing at this Jersey Mike’s, this rocks

Hi! I’m co-hosting this live show Sunday 6/12 and it’d make my dang week if YOU were there. Please come thru! Link in bio!

Wow, saw R*b Z*mbie at the farmers market. Didn’t even have to make one of those DALL-E memes.

The new Dragon Ball movie is the movie of the year, I hope they never change the elevator

Cheers 🥂

Hey Scott Adams it would be really great if Dilbert could die from eating too many tide pods #howdilbertwilldie

Gonna be expensive to dress as Movie Mario for Halloween 😔

When someone puts folk punk on the speakers at work

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I steal the catalytic converters from the work vans

If I ever see the people who put the “we buy junk cars” cards in the act, I will very sternly tell them to be nice

After all these years, sonic is still wearing Soaps

Be serious, would you wear one, or be embarrassed

LA is amazing. I can hear Elton John playing live from my house, and I am poor

I think every one of my family members knows who Madball is

The live action Link should be the guy from Waiting who says nothing the entire movie