Me and one of Jerry Seinfeld's cars

i before e, and every other letter because i am the only thing that matters in this world.

Choosing not to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.

I feel that I may be in the midst of writing the greatest part for Parker Posey of all time...

It's the THOT that counts.

I'm sick all the time, just imagine my pain x.com/kourtneykardas…

If you're not a pastry, GTFO my face

There is a movie about me. youtu.be/9HoVwtE4k4A #proust

There is only one person using the full beauty and wonder of the Internet x.com/parkerposey/st…

Ring around the rosey, Parker full of Posey.

If the glove don't fit, try Trump he has short fingers. #ThePeopleVsOJSimpson

Absentee ballet.

When Jay Z gives you lemons, you make #lemonade. If you know what I mean. 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

This show is all about me. x.com/jeffayars/stat…

A Venmo diagram.

I remember when a Tinder match used to mean something.

Tonight Cannibal Milkshake Comedy + @IVYConnect teamed up to give IVY members an INSANE lineup of comedic talent!

😂 (Members LOLing at Comedy Night. Thanks to IVY Member Jeff Ayars!) View more: ht.ly/GHn9301nDfw

Anyone want to come over for some late night "LinkedIn and skill"?

I'm just looking for a nice girl that I can DM, if you know what I mean.