The night is darkest before the sun rises

November 1st, but it’s still #silktober

Reminder: America was founded by a bunch of guys with burner accounts. The burnerverse has always existed.

Can’t believe that Ukrainian chick from UF is an act

Live look at me after she said she’s ubering home with her sister last night

First UV 3 sunburn of the year in the books. R we back?

“Dude we need the new Brita. It filters out microplastics”

Exactly what we needed in NY. One more round of lasik and this guys an all pro

I’m a closeted muncher. The fellas love clowning you for mucking some clam every now and again. It’s a fine delicacy and I love it! I don’t care!

Never kill yourself

If you didn’t read this book when you were 10 your a liberal

Lot of morning routine talk on the timeline recently so figured I’d drop mine: 8:00: Wake up, immediately check if she texted me back (didn’t) 8:01 - 8:10: Stare at myself shirtless in the mirror 8:10 - 8:12: Measure (Hard) 8:12 - 8:15: Make cup of tea 8:15 - 8:45: Drink

Beer with ur homie u haven’t seen in a while #expand

Just watched the Masters playoff with some random kid on my train. U gotta love sports

Day off toss? Just as God intended

Nothing screams I’m a tool more than those upside down letter hats