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Oh shoot I haven’t finished my strike baby

I have a million things to do but unfortunately spent the morning looking up curvy wife guy :(

Best job I’ve ever had. Let’s do it again in another 10 years?

Fully endorse! Snap up Kayla before I make her my doula, a thing neither of us wants!

The thing no one tells you about pregnancy is at the end, you are the baby. You eat, you sleep, you need the bathroom so often a diaper would be best, and even when everything is fine you have a 60% chance of crying at any given moment. I am baby. Baby tired.

People say having kids kills romance but I’ve been a mom less than a day and my husband already compared my breasts to dead batteries so yeah guess so

Has anyone counted how many times they say “suit” in the pilot of Suits? It’s a lot and I bet it’s a fun number

Motherhood is filled with unexpected moments of joy like for example today I realized season 2 of Suits has more episodes than season 1 🥹

Options for worlds best dad travel mug are…something!

Parenting is texting your partner “our favorite person in the world just shat everywhere” and them replying “awww I missed it”

The books really don’t prepare you for motherhood. Billie is three months old and I still haven’t formed a darkly close friendship with a glamorous woman I met at the playground who isn’t all she seems

Women directors can have a little best picture nom, as a treat

Supercalifragalisticextravalidation

When a bird is gliding, gliding and then has to flap? Pathetic

Does POV now just mean “this is a video”

Babyfood cookbooks are wild cause day 1 is like, give them the pit of a mango and have fun! And then day 4 is like, rice has arsenic in it so you will be spending most of your day rinsing this rice do NOT have fun if the baby has a reaction then your life revolves around rice now