RFK Jr. admitted to once snorting cocaine off a toilet seat. To make it worse, it was the floor model at Home Depot. #Jokes #RFKjr

The Olympic Village ran out of condoms. They had to rush an order asap. When your Condem delivery is bigger than your Gatorade delivery, you might not win many medals. #Jokes #Olympics2026

I got to meet Peter Cetera at a Jimmy Harbaugh golf outing in 2001. The first thing I asked him was, " Where are you from? He replied I was in a band called Chicago. Unfortunately, this is a true story. #stories #Jokes

Hilary Clinton testified that Ghilane Maxwell was a plus-one at Chelsea Clinton's wedding. She also gifted Chelsea a KitchenAid toaster from Kohl's. #Jokes #SalDemilioComedy

Look out for a blood moon tonight from a lunar eclipse. That's when the Earth passes directly between the Sun and the Moon. A blood moon will not happen again until Rosie O’Donnell goes to the beach. #BloodMoon #RosieOdonnell #Jokes

They call my dad the G.O.A.T. of Bocci ball in his league. That's great because he also raised goats as a child in the hills of Italy. #Bocci #Italy #Jokes

The video of Vin Scully reciting the “Field Of Dreams” speech will be the best thing you’ll hear today.

This is insane. A 17 year old high school senior just shattered Aaron Judge’s bat with the bases loaded and got him to ground into an inning ending double player.

Italian baseball players have started a trend of drinking espresso in the dugout during games. Now the Spanish players want to continue this trend by drinking margaritas. #baseball #Jokes

South by Southwest sounds like two of Kim Kardashian's kids standing next to each other. #SXSW #jokes

I didn't know that when a meteor hits the ground, it's then called a meteorite. Even meteors are changing their pronouns these days.

Immigration officers are now assisting TSA to expedite the airport process. However, now every plane will have to be deiced. #Jokes #TSA

They found sharks in the water near the Bahamas with traces of cocaine in their system. You can even hear one say, " Say Hello to my little fin. “ #Jokes

NASA’s Artemis II mission is scheduled to launch on Wednesday, April 1st. It will orbit Earth twice before heading to the moon. With these gas prices. Forget the scenic route, go right to the moon. #NASA #Moon #Jokes

This year's Masters tournament will not be able to call that three-hole stretch Amen Corner. That's now the name of the spot Tiger drove on. #Masters #Golf #Tiger #Jokes

The winner of the Masters Golf tournament gets a green jacket. Tiger Woods will be getting an orange jumpsuit. #Tiger #Masters #Jokes

With the 276th pick in the NFL draft, the Los Angeles Raiders select Cole Allen. #Jokes #nfl #correspondentdinner

Ilhan Omar was glad to see King Charles visit the 9-2 memorial in New York City.#Jokes

It cost me $65 to fill up my tank today. I hope I can at least get the front lawn cut. #Jokes #gas

No More Spirit is the favorite in the Kentucky Derby. #Spirit #Kentuckyderby