hope hopes hoping A nation mourns

Liquid glass is helpful if your loved ones are ugly and you don't want a good look at them

You don't need an expensive bidet, you already have a sink, stop being so fancy

"Nothing on my end", I say cheerfully. But there is stuff on my end. There's tons of stuff

Mon Mothma. Gone Mothma, I call her. Where did she go? Ran away from justice. These are terrible people rebelling right now, very bad people

When you hug someone the electromagnetic fields of your hearts interact with each other in subtle but meaningful ways

Men, HOW DARE YOU have opinions about this popular music album cover!!! Her succulent thighs are *obviously* not for you, creeps!!!

This is where I monitor the situation from

I’m not a fan of the 19 year olds attacking government buildings in LA but I’m all for 19 year olds attacking government buildings in Tehran

You merely adopted monitoring things; I was born to it

Looks like they took out a space laser

There are so many Mossad agents in Tehran right now that if you yell out shalom on a busy street at least three guys turn around say it back

Whoever monitors situations should see to it that in the process he does not become a situation

Surprising that a 56 yo man rapping about how horny he is for zoomers isn’t being received well because that’s how I met my wife

Nothing hits me like one of the sad Blink 182 songs. Nothing sadder than the tears of a clown

The Shah’s kid is ready to bring the Pahlavi family’s special brand of “democracy” (pictured) back to Iran

It’s wild that the “you’re fired” guy is making one of the most consequential decisions of the century right now. May he choose wisely

Sending her this so she knows tonight she’s going to get a surprise that will be remembered for centuries

The plan? To keep the US officially uninvolved, we need a civilian pilot with big plane experience and sympathy for Israel to fly a B-2 and drop a bunker buster on the Fordow nuclear facility-