I wonder if Ethan could turn Spike into a Fyarl demon...

I should probably sober up first. At this rate, I'd spontaneously combust and then that damned pillock would have the last laugh, wouldn't he?

"What did you do? I just had to endure the trauma of listening to Buffy tell me IN DETAIL about sex with you, or one of your ilk! I may never be able to look her in the face again."

I'm so badly sloshed there's really no telling what I'd do. Still, I think I could keep my wits about me long enough to get the job done. Then I can get pissed. Again.

"Well if it wasn't you, it was another Spike. I just didn't want the bloody details. It's bad enough..."

I will be quite happy to be a bystander. As long as I get to watch the show. Slayers and Vampires should not, not, um... copulate. It's bad form. Really... bad.

No. Oh no. I'd expect that. No, no. Now it's SPIKE.

You heard me right. Buffy is having glorious, can't walk straight sex with Spike. Now you see why I'm drunk?

Buffy! I'm not blaming you. I'm not. Clearly I have failed you in some crucial way. And that vile creature has seduced you.

Yes. Quite right. Would you like some scotch?

*offers the bottle and a clean glass*

"How DARE you! An agency? She would never!"

S'alright. *pours himself another*

*blinks twice. hard.* Oh. Yes, well. Makes more sense, then.

*squints trying to see which Spike to swing at* I'd take that more seriously if I was even the slightest bit sober.

No. I'm not. It's the perfect moment, you know. You could get rid of me once and for all.

Wa.... ooh... wha happen'd?

S-spike? Oh.... bloody hell.

Wha? Oh. Smells gud. Save m'some. *mumbles faintly*

"I don't think I've ever had a hangover this bad. And why do I smell like garlic?"