Toddlers are terrorists

I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship with a toddler

My son calls a shark a “Doo doo doo doo doo”. Fucking Coco Melon.

Nothing slaps better than a full night’s sleep after a week of rough toddler night wakings

Baby Blues

Went to a restaurant in this tiny town. Ordered the chicken. Did the waitress not ask me “How would you like the chicken? Medium rare? Well done?”

one of the greatest things you must learn how to read, is the room.

Nothing slaps as hard as the 1st night back in your own bed

Haaaave you seen my child?!

Imagine being the CEO of a company and writing an employee review on Glassdoor and giving “advice to management”. Bro, it’s literally you.

What the fresh hell is this?

Asked this engineer with 7 years experience to send me 2/3 contactable references. He sends me his dad, his sister and his wife.

I’m supposed to fly from Cape Town to Durban tomorrow. Should I change my flight to Tuesday? (Considering the storm)

Can my doctor book me off sick from my toddler?

IEC Commissioner: “this is going to be a short programme” Reader, it was not a short programme

My 2 year old after burping; “I did a fart in my mouth”

I turn 40 this week. I am not ready to turn 40 this week.