I guess Neil Young doesn’t want to keep rockin’ in a free world. 🤷‍♀️

Sorry Wordle. I can do a lot of things but I just can’t bring myself to do you.

January was a tough year but we made it.

I don’t care what any y’all f*ckers think, I’m sure going to miss Tom Brady… In those tights. #tombrady #NFL

I’ve seen Ron Jeremy walking around in sweat pants & flip flops and a 70 year old lady having a dildo sword fight. Yeah, there’s not much that can shock me anymore. #truestory

I don’t need a Valentine. I need a cool Mil and fast metabolism.

Hallelujah! 🙏🏻

For Valentine’s Day I’m having a threesome. Me. Ben & Jerry. 🍦

Finally, I realized I was not asking too much. I was asking the wrong person.

With these gas prices it’s cheaper to snort some coke and run everywhere instead. 🖖

Facebook is where 36 year old women write an endless stream of love letters to wine.

A giraffes coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? Yeah, me neither.

If you dip your fries into your Wendy’s frosty we can be friends. 🍟

More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on the couch, play on my phone and ignore them like a normal adult.

We met some very interesting people in the mining world and learned a lot about the deep political and social issues that surround it. All in the pursuit of our upcoming reality document-series Mine$tockers.

#facts

I feel like stranger things is a glorified version of The Goonies. I must say they did an epic job though!

This person should lose their license for five years.