Show you’re over 30 without saying you’re over 30: Just asked for “cashback” and they replied “what’s that”…

Gary

Instagram really needs to tell us if they add a feature that tells the person when you screenshot their story… 👀

It’s my balloon day!! 🎈🥳

Sometimes I’m like, “yeah. I do want kids”… then I get on a flight that has kids on it 🫠

Who took the loss worse: Angela Bassett at The Oscars or Alex on #onlyconnect tonight…

🎵 How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine with some piss 🎵

Has anyone ever woken up and thought, “yeah - Bottomless Brunch was a really good idea yesterday”… I highly doubt it!!

If Saw did toilets, they’d probably be the worst toilets in the world…

I hope people that don’t suffer from Hayfever know how lucky they are…

In my 34 years, I have never heard a squirrel’s voice… I don’t know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this:

New pollen waiting for me to wake up so it can make my life Hell:

LADS. This is IMPORTANT 🚨

Some peoples Spotify Wrapped…

Any kind of “don’t spill the liquid” challenge has never tried to cross the front room of Two Brewers Clapham with a full pint…

The refreshments in the green room before every #theapprentice task:

Balloon Day in Zurich 🎈🥳

Double room spareroom.co.uk/17749185?utm_s…

#CelebrityTraitors