If your telling me you wouldn’t let your kids spend the nite with Michael Jackson for money then your lying and idiot quiet frankfully. He didn’t do anything wrong just innocent sleepover idiots. I’ve done sleepover with my nephew in tent #justiceformichael #leavingneverland

Me: Why do blondes wear nickers? You: I don’t know, why do blondes wear nickers, Rob? Me: It keeps their ankles warm.

Thank you Harrisons Sauces and everyone who helped me. You’ve all made me a happy man!! My favourites. 👍👍

I’m not homophobic. I love my home.

He our centre half He our number 4 Shame he got fat So not as good no more He’ll pass the ball To the other side He’s Virgil van dike. Virgil van dike.

Back in my day it was lifting skirts and sniffing blerts. Now it’s just “you can’t do that in the work place”. 70s was a much simpler time.

Remember Messi putting Boateng on his arse? Well Salah just did it better. Best in the world. #Salah

If Manchester United win today I will give everyone who retweets this £50each. Just before I kill myself. United won’t win so this isn’t a gamble. #MUNLIV

Scarlett Muffin

I dropped my iPod and the screen has cracked. I was told to send a picture of evidence to get a replacement but when I take a screenshot nothing shows? What should I do?

#FreeFootballTwitter

Robert Greenwood We've been waiting for you Robert Greenwood 😍

#FSGOUT

Long love big Mike #justiceformj

Still waiting @EASPORTSFIFA

Who remembers when Ali G dropped this banger #AbortionRights

What’s up with it vanilla face

Dunno why but this is so funny man

Josh ✪ Please point out where I said it was a penalty.