Enemies to lovers but with yourself

Did you also have a crush on Jill from Cake Mania when you were a kid or are you normal

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)

Why are the ceilings in grocery stores so high???! Like bro relax lol

Lin-Manuel You Have The Right To Remain Silent Anything You Say Can And Will Be Used Against You In A Court Of Law You Have The Right To

Absolutely no-one: The Fitbit I lost the charger for two and a half years ago:

God watching the first guy named “Seymour” being born

I’m sorry but “Dump Cake” will never not be funny

Drywall implies the existence of Wetwall

And here I was thinking that a Burlesque was just a pageant for people who looked vaguely like Burl Ives

Polycule Goals

Manipulative Dr. Frankenstein’s New Book: “How to Influence Friends and Make People”.

Depressed buddy comedy called Numb & Number

Chet Baker

Manmade horrors beyond my comprehension (I am the man)

Violence of Glamor BF, Beauty of the Grotesque GF

Charging $30 to do Tarot readings where I just hiss “Yikes” between my teeth after each flip. Then I say “I gotta call The Warlock about this one” and drive home

Just aw a shirtless guy with a Nike swoop on his chest. Okay Crash Brandicoot,

How it feels when you’re pushing on a fart and you’ve hit the three second mark with no results

Bro, I went to Let Love Destroy You Island and everyone knew you