Make sure you okay it with your DM group first, we don't want your "friends" mad at ya

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played at night.

To the person who invented air conditioning….thank you, I love you, swamp ass everywhere thanks you. I hope you got paid a lot for the idea.

You were told what to believe your entire life. Maybe start thinking for yourself.

Dr.Mario is the original Candy Crush

The sexiest thing a man can do is say interesting things

In my head every sexual tweet is about me. No, it doesn’t matter that we’ve never interacted. It’s about me.

Both me and my phone are charging slowly

Don’t put your drama on social media and then tell us to mind our business… Listen, I’m on Season 3, Episode 4 of your nonsense 😂🤣

Keep your friends close but your cheese closer... or however the saying goes

You know, I happen to be something of a goof myself *Me, flirting

I'll judge you by how you pronounce "foyer"

I just got a notification from X that my voice matters so here I am.

As we say goodbye to the Department of Education, I would like to take a moment to list all of its accomplishments over the past 45 years:

Please do not DM me as soon as I follow you.

I’m grateful for never following along blindly.

Wait… help me understand something… JD Vance spends time with his kids and it’s an issue. He says he’s taking his daughter for a walk and it’s an issue. He runs up to one of his kids at Disneyland and it’s an issue. He shows his wife love and it’s an issue. Meanwhile, the

Do you ever wonder what it'd be like to be a fish? *as I'm cutting out shark cookies.

People have forgotten how to get jiggy with it.

She's aged and put on a little weight but she's gorgeous. Everyone "loves" thick girls until a skinny one becomes thick. Reading through the comments is why I don't believe men when they compliment me.