How to rice. 1. Pour a sensible amount of rice into a pan. 2. Wash it. 3. Stare suspiciously. Is it enough? Probably not. 4. Add way too much rice. 5. Pan is wet. No going back. 6. Cook the rice. 7. It's way, way, too much rice. Don't do this again next time! 8. Repeat.

The Return of IOTA is an onchain campaign leading to the launch of IOTA Rebased. Over 3M #IOTA tokens are up for grabs to reward participants. Take the first step, and claim your key now: 👇 guild.xyz/iota/the-retur… Together, we can manifest the IOTA timeline.

goo.gl/UhJg8 Horse and Louis @TinaTeaLady Matt Price Comedy TONY Law Free comedy night tomorrow in the bar at Wilton's Music Hall

I have purchased and eaten crab paste for the very first time. I'm not blown away.

can't make an #omelette without breaking some #eggs. Just please don't be racist. James Mathew

is punching a masochist a nice thing to do?

@kateemilyanne The Actors' Temple Sean Lerwill Dominic Morgan Jaymie Addicott @pennie00k8 Kojo Kamara Half way point. Happy to be so sad.

Most of the children in London came from 1 very fertile womb. Yours PJ Harvey . #bullshitfacts #bullshitlondon bit.ly/106dwp0

My new showreel is online. youtube.com/edit?video_id=… Any feedback welcome....

Terry Pratchett is winning. Again.

This letter to someone suicidal, is UTTERLY magnificent: RT Letters of Note:comic book writer Matt Fraction to a fan: bit.ly/17CTYWn

RT Hot Broth: Proudly presenting ROBOPOPE episode 1! Maybe the worst super hero ever... a catholic robot.. youtu.be/9CIiFLl4UZM?a

@TheMostAthy I have made a video about a robot priest who enforces catholic dogma. I wonder if you might enjoy it? v.gd/n8pXwf

Robopope ep.2. Holy War(ter). Is it true that muslims go to catholic hell? bit.ly/1nuPnAT #atheism #catholics #pope #robocop #hell

NEVER go camping with a ghost. He'll just sit by the fire all night telling stories about himself.

Today I learned that frozen food can still go off. And that rancid chicken smells like vinegar when its cooked.

@_KateFreer @pennie00k8 @zanderactor Sean Lerwill Kojo Kamara Jaymie Addicott Dominic Morgan reunion?

The Bullshit London tours are starting to gather steam. 10 today, a lovely group. We all hid in the bushes together.