Not posting any funnies today, out of respect for those poor people who lost their lives in Australia.

What happened today is yet another fucking wake up call!

When you are out and about in our cities, and towns, switch on, be aware of your surroundings, get your faces off…

Someone asked me the other day 'What's your pet hate?'

I said, 'It doesnt really like things shoved up it's arse'...

The Last of the ONE OFFS.
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On a small peninsula where two rivers meet
Once stood an old establishment and the sound of pounding feet,
Where instructors bellowed orders at every single turn
And fifteen-year-old 'Know-it-alls' were quickly going to learn,
Those early days of…

Form an orderly queue ladies.... 😉

Went into Victoria's Secrets, said to the saleswoman ' Our lass needs a bra , but I don't know the size'.

She said 'Here, cup my breasts with your hands and try and calculate her size'.

'Oh, in that case, I'd better take her some fucking knickers'.

Stfu you stupid child...

Would you support banning the niqab/burka?

Please Retweet for a Larger Audience

Yes or No

Cliff Richard meets a fan from China.

Chinese feller say's 'I ruv you Criff, I ruv song called Itchy Sore Fanny'.

Cliff says,'I didn't sing, a song called that'.

The Chinese feller says ' You did!

It went 🎶'Itchy Sore Fanny how we dont talk anymore'🎶....

Says it all....

I was chatting with a girl on-line.

'Tell me something interesting about yourself,' I typed.

'I'm Lebanese,' came the reply..

'I'm wasting my fucking time', I thought: 'she's dyslexic and she prefers girls'.

52% of Muslims in Britain think it should be illegal to show a cartoon of Mohammed.

Fukkem 🖕🏼

Please share this far and wide

More Camel Toe than a fucking Cairo cab rank....

Brace yourself Elizabeth....

My phone bill this month has come to over £200.

That's the last time I ring 'Stuttering Sluts Live.'...

Do you think Mayor of London is a LIAR ?

If yes , please add one to the comments & RT

I am no expert in the effects of missile strikes, but given that all the bloody windows are intact, it makes you wonder if them sneaky Israelis are actually deploying Acme Anvils and Wil E Coyote

Can I get a like and share from those of you that support Veteran owned businesses 🦾🦾🦾

forcewear.co.uk/collections/ma…