“The one way to detect a feeble-minded man is to get one arguing on economics.” – October 6, 1933

“Well, I will just tell you how bad this marrying into Royalty has fallen off lately: some of our girls have just reconciled themselves to marrying Americans.” – January 7, 1923

“This sales tax is a-coming in all these states. . . . I guess it’s the least objectionable of taxes, if there is such a thing.” - July 30, 1933

I joke about all the politicians but if I dident like ’em I wouldent. I like ’em all.” - August 6, 1933

“Well all I know is just what I read in the papers. I been a watching Congress like a cat at a rat hole.” – January 14, 1934

“I tell you this finding out how to govern a country, or even a state, or county, or even a town, has got the whole world licked. There is not a type of government that can point with complete pride, and say there is the best that can be had.” - June 17, 1934

“You will no more get in a plane unless you know the pilot is a recognized pilot, but you will move to a state and live under it, when the govenor maby has never had one hour’s instructions at the wheel of the ship of state.” - June 17, 1934

About silent films: “You can’t swear as much as you could in the old days in a scene, that is out loud. In the old days these folks that can read lips used to get more out of movies than most people.” - July 1, 1934

“But I must get back from these political parties and get back to civilization, for there’s nothing in common between politics and civilization.” – April 14, 1935

“Oklahoma is a doubtful State, and after hearing all the candidates on both sides, it’s still doubtful what good any of them will be to it.” – March 2, 1924

Why, the poor is even getting Golf Courses, so it’s only a couple of years till they will be as big Liars as the rich.” – December 1929

“Did you ever notice how much more peaceful it is all-around when our Marines are at home instead of prowling around?” – May 5, 1929

“if Americans are going to stop and start worrying about whether they can afford a thing or not, you are going to ruin the whole characteristic of our people. There wouldn’t have been a dozen automobiles sold if that was the case.” – March 5, 1935

“You see art is when you do something just cockeyed from what is the right way to do it, then it’s art.” – October 2, 1932

“This country sure is organized, and this country sure is advertised. When we arrive at the poor house, we will be the best advertised nation that was ever admitted In fact, it’s paying dues to organizations and advertising that will put us there.” – November 11, 1930

“I certainly know that a comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious, and I don’t want either one of those to happen to me till I am dead (if then).” - June 29, 1931

“They are pretty bad, these big wars over Commerce. They kill more people. But one over religion is really the most bitter.” - September 8, 1929

“I just wonder if it ain’t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give most of our tips.” - November 25, 1923

You know there is a great tendency all over the Country now to be High Brow. Everybody is four-flushing and pretending they are not what they really are, especially here in New York. More people should work for their Dinner instead of dressing for it.” – February 25, 1923

“There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a Movie set. If you have lost anybody anywhere in the World and don’t know where they are, they are in Hollywood trying to get in the Movies.” – September 20, 1931