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While I'm on one about trauma: NOT ALL TRAUMA HAPPENS IN CHILDHOOD!!! Bad things happen to adults too - often inflicted by the very people we rely on or reach out to for help. Iatrogenic trauma inflicted by services is NOT caused by patient's upbringing

...which is somewhat ironic given that TEWV are currently delivering training about health inequalities.

I seriously can't keep going. I feel absolutely tormented by everything I've been through - mentally and physically. I'm not the person I was. I no longer dare ask for help with my physical or mental health. I'm out of options and out of hope.

I've been away from Twitter (I will never call it X) for some time as have been quite unwell. Thought I'd venture back on to see how everyone is.

Interesting. I knew I was unwell. I WAS unwell. Mental and physical. Discharged whilst suicidal. Now diagnosed with pernicious anemia, autoimmune atrophic gastritis, intestinal metaplasia, neuroendocrine hyperplasia, hydrogen & methane SIBO, ME, and Long-covid.

It’s not only trauma people are healing from, but the ways people treated them when they asked for help.

Ombudsman Rebecca Hilsenrath has called on NHS leaders to radically overhaul the health service's culture and listen to those it fails. Read more in the The Telegraph: orlo.uk/n9wya

I turn fifty in a few weeks. It's prompted me to look back over the past 10 years, and I do so with many emotions and a genuine shock that I'm still here. My wife and I would never have believed that the last 10 years would unfold as they have. Feeling sad and tired.

It's my 50th birthday in a couple of weeks - something I should be looking forward to. But the past 9 years have really taken their toll. My body, brain, and mind are a shadow of what they were and I'm permanently exhausted. I'll make it to 50 but there's nothing to celebrate.

I remember turning 40. I was fairly normal and happy then, before the shit show that has been the past 10 years. Now as I turn 50 - my health ruined by the trauma and injustice of those years, I still grieve for the person I was and the life I had. There's nothing to celebrate 😔

For my 50th birthday I'd treated myself to tickets to see Nik Kershaw with my son. We'd been looking forward to it for months leading up to it. Unfortunately, on Friday I wasn't well at all and was unable to go. Pretty gutted 😩

The original trauma was bad enough. The traumas and injustices that followed even worse. The lies and character assassination that followed inconceivable. The impact on my health that followed irreversible.

I've not been on twitter for quite some time, but have started using my quiet Nam account recently.